Child
in his Parents' Bed
Q:
Our child wakes up in the middle of the night with bad dreams and comes into
our bed. Should we insist he goes back
or let him stay?
A:
In general, you should bring him back to his bed and sit next to him with your
hand on him until he falls asleep.
However, in special cases, it is permissible to let him stay if it is
difficult for him.
Calling
Parents by Their First Names
Q:
My parents want me to call them by their first names. Is it permissible, or forbidden on account of
honoring parents?
A:
Their will is their honor. Tosafot
Kiddushin (31b d.h. Rebbe Tarfon) in the name of the Yerushalmi.
Kippah
Made from Hair
Q:
Someone made Kippot out of hair. Is it
permissible to wear such a Kippah outside of Israel in a place which is
dangerous for Jews?
A:
Some forbid wearing a toupée without a
Kippah on account of Maarit Ayin.
Mishnah Berurah 2:12. This is the
ruling of the halachic authorities, that one needs a recognizable Kippah (This
is also the opinion of Ha-Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky. Emet Le-Yaakov on
the Shulchan Aruch ibid.). Nonetheless,
in a pressing circumstance, it is permissible to cover one's head with a toupee
(see Mishnah Berurah ibid.). This is on condition that the Rabbis of
that place permit it. It is preferable,
however, to wear a hat that is not unique to Jews (Piskei Teshuvot 2 note
#57). It is true that
if one is asked if he is a Jew, it is forbidden for him to say that he is a
non-Jew. But the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 157:2) already permits
one to wear non-Jewish clothing so as to appear as a non-Jew, on condition that
he not declare that he is a non-Jew (Regarding this question during the
Holocuast, see Shut Mi-Maamakim of Ha-Rav Ephraim Oshry 1:15, 4:12, 5:3). And there is
obviously an even greater solution: Making Aliyah. Here, in Eretz
Yisrael, one can proudly wear a Kippah.
Guarding
One's Tongue
Q:
How can I refrain from speaking Lashon Ha-Ra?
It is impossible!
A:
Incorrect. The more one accustoms himself
to refrain, the easier it gets.
Furthermore, even speaking less Lashon Ha-Ra has great value. Introduction to Sefer Shemirat Ha-Lashon of
the Chafetz Chaim.
Snacks
in the Dorm
Q:
Is it permissible to take snacks and cookies from friends in a dormitory
without asking, or is this stealing?
A:
It is permissible if one is 100% sure that the friend would agree with all of
his heart, and not only because he doesn't feel right refusing.
Officer
of Soldiers who are Torah Scholars
Q:
I am an officer in Tzahal and I have soldiers who are Torah scholars. How should I relate to them? Is it permissible for me to put them on the
duty roster?
A:
Everything is permissible. 1. It is the
same "Pikuach Nefesh" which permits doing so for every soldier. 2. A Rav may forgo the honor due to him. Kiddushin 32a. And when a person is drafted into the army,
he forgoes his honor. 3. Although a Rav
may not forgo a disgrace to him, here it is for the best of the soldier himself. This is similar to the halachah which a son
can make his father grind on a mill.
Kiddushin 31a-b. And it is for
the best of the soldier that he be part of the duty roster so that the other
soliders do not complain, unless they themselves initiate exempting Torah
scholars from the list. See too the
Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 243:a) that a Torah scholar is exempt from all types
of guarding, but he is obligated if it is Pikuach Nefesh. Shut Ha-Radvaz brought in the Pitchei
Teshuvot there.
Picture
of the Temple Mount
Q:
Is it permissible to use a picture taken by someone who entered the Temple
Mount?
A:
Certainly not. It was taken by way of a
transgression.
Stupid
Questions
Q:
Why does Ha-Rav answer stupid question?
A:
The person who asked the question is also a person who deserves respect and an
answer. In general, it is not your role
to give Mussar to others who ask questions.
