Nickname
Q:
People call me by my last name instead of my first name and it really bothers
me. How do I explain it to them?
A:
That it is not your first name and it is forbidden to call someone by a
nickname if it bothers him (Megillah 27b.
Tosafot ibid. d.h. Velo Keniti.
Rambam, Hilchot De'ot 6:8).
Rabbi
So-And-So Permits it
Q:
Sometimes Ha-Rav answers a question: "Rabbi So-And-So permits
it". Does this mean that Ha-Rav does not permit it, or is there
some other reason for Ha-Rav turning the questioner over to another Rabbi's
answer?
A:
It is either because I do not personally permit it or I do permit it but it is
a Chiddush and one needs broad shoulders to allow it (Someone once asked the
Chazon Ish if it is permissible for someone who suffers from sweating to shower
during the 9 Days. He answered: "Reb Elya Dushintzer holds that
it is permissible". Ha-Rav Chaim Kanievski wrote that he asked
the Chazon Ish about this and he said that he does not permit it. Orchot
Rabben Vol. 1, p. 375. And see Shut Igrot Moshe, Even Ha-Ezer
4:84. And Ha-Rav Yehoshua Katz – Rav of Maale Adumim – once asked
Ha-Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv a question, and he responded: "Reb Moshe
permits it." Rav Katz said: "But I want to know Ha-Rav's
opinion." Rav Elyashiv said: "My opinion is that Reb Moshe
permits it", i.e. but he does not. And it is related in the
book "Oro Shel Olam" p. 343 about Ha-Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach that
a woman once came to him after the doctors revealed in prenatal testing that
there was a chance that her fetus had a birth defect, and she wanted to have an
abortion. It was known that Ha-Rav Shlomo Zalman was not among those
who permitted an abortion in such a case, since he thought that the chance of
the baby having a birth defect was low. When he began to talk to the
woman about it, he said that his words fell on deaf ears. He said to
her: "The truth is that I do not understand this matter so
much. I will send you to someone who understands it much more than
me. His name is Ha-Rav Eliezer Waldenberg…" Rav Waldenberg
– the Tzitz Eliezer – permitted abortion in such a case. See Shut
Tzitz Eliezer 9:51, 13:102).
Tefillin
for a Vegetarian
Q:
I am a vegetarian. Is there a substitute
for Tefillin made from animal skin so that I can fulfill the Mitzvah without an
animal?
A:
No.
Q:
How then can I fulfill the Mitzvah?
A:
There are times in life when one needs to make a decision. You have to decide if you want to cleave to
Hashem or to human inventions.
Combat
Soldier and Marriage
Q:
Is it correct that a combat soldier should not get married, as it is written:
"When a man takes a new wife, he shall not
go out in the army, nor shall he be subjected to anything associated with
it. He shall remain free for his home
for one year and delight his wife, whom he has taken" (Devarim 24:5)?
A: This is incorrect, since everyone, including a newlywed, serves
in an obligatory war (Milchemet Mitzvah).
It is however a good idea not to serve in a combat unit during one's
first year of marriage, since one's young wife will be alone and worried (See
the article of Ha-Rav Shmuel Dvir in Techumin Volume 34 where he argues that
there is an obligation for a soldier NOT to serve in a combat unit during his
first year of marriage).
Local
Custom
Q:
I am Ashkenazi and Daven in a Sefardi Shul. Should I stand for
Kaddish (as is Ashkenazi, but not Sephardi, custom)?
A:
Act as everyone else (see Massechet Derech Eretz, Chapter 5: "A person
should not stand among those who are seated or sit among those who are
standing").
