1.
Shabbat Clothing
It
is proper to wear Shabbat and holiday clothing beginning in the evening. One’s house should be clean and straightened
up nicely to honor Purim (Rama, Orach Chaim 695:2).
2.
Gifts to the Poor
One
is required to give at least two gifts to two poor people, one gift to each poor
person (Shulchan Aruch 694:1). These
gifts may only be given on Purim and not beforehand, during the day, and not at
night. The basic law is that it is sufficient to give to each poor person a
minimal amount, but the Rambam wrote: "It is preferable for a person to be
liberal with his gifts to the poor than to be lavish in his festive meal or in
his giving portions to his friend, because there is no greater and more
splendid happiness than to gladden the hearts of the poor, the orphans, the
widows and the converts. For one who gladdens the heart of the unfortunate is
similar to the Divine Presence, as it says (Yeshayahu 57:15): To revive the
spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite" (Hilchot
Megillah 2:17). It is possible, however, to take money for the additional gifts
from one’s yearly Tzedakah obligation. We should not be particular with regards
to whom we give Tzedakah on Purim, rather we give to anyone who extends his
hand to receive. If one does not find poor people on Purim, he should set aside
the money and give it to Tzedakah afterwards (Shulchan Aruch 694:1-2).
3.
Festive Meal of Purim
One
is required to eat a pleasant festive meal, such as with meat, bread and
wine. Women are also obligated in this.
There is no obligation of a festive meal at night, but one should nevertheless
increase his meal somewhat. It is also proper to rejoice somewhat at a festive
meal on Shushan Purim (the next day - the 15th of Adar - when Purim is
celebrated within a walled city). The majority of the festive meal of Purim
must take place during the day. Even if one concludes it at night, one nevertheless
recites "Al Ha-Nissim" in the Birkat Ha-Mazon (Rama, Orach Chaim
695:2).
It
is a proper custom to eat the festive meal only after one fulfills the Mitzvah
of sending portions to friends and gifts to the poor. If the time of Minchah Gedolah (the earliest
time to Daven the afternoon prayer - approximately midday) arrives - it is
forbidden to begin the festive meal until one prays (Rama, Orach Chaim 695:2).
One should engage somewhat in Torah learning before the festive meal (ibid.).
4.
Drinking Wine at the Festive Meal of Purim
One
is required to drink wine at the festive meal, but even if he does not drink,
he nevertheless fulfills the obligation of having a festive meal on Purim
(Mishnah Berurah in Biur Halachah 695:2). One is not obligated to become drunk
but he should drink more than that to which he is accustomed. Thus he will fall
asleep, and by sleeping he will not know the difference between cursing Haman
and blessing Mordechai. The Meiri wrote that were are not obligated to become
drunk and lower ourselves in the midst of rejoicing, "We are not commanded
regarding joy of folly and nonsense but joy of pleasure which will bring out of
it the love of Hashem, may He be Blessed, and thanksgiving of the miracles
which He performed for us" (Megillah 7). Therefore, if one knows that he
will disregard a Mitzvah (Netilat Yadayim, blessings, Birkat Ha-Mazon), or that
he will not Daven Minchah or Ma’ariv, or that he will act frivolously – it is
better for him not to get drunk.
Women
are exempt from drinking wine.
5.
Sending Portions to Friends
One
is required to send at least two portions to one person. Anyone who increases the amount given is
praiseworthy, because on account of this love, fraternity, peace and friendship
increase (Mishnah Berurah 695:4). We must send two types of food which may be
consumed immediately, without needing to be cooked or prepared. The sent items must be important and
honorable in the eyes of the sender and the recipient. It may only be sent
during the day and not at night. If one sent it earlier by mail, and it arrives
on Purim, there are those who state that he has fulfilled his obligation (Shut
Mahari Asad #207).
Women
are also obligated in sending portions. Her husband may send it for her, but
there are those who are strict that she should send for herself. Care should be
taken that a woman sends to a woman, and a man sends to a man.
A
boy is obligated in sending portions when he becomes 13 years old, and a girl
when she become 12 years old. When a child arrives at the age of education
(when they can learn proper conduct) it is proper to educate him to fulfill the
Mitzvah.
Regarding
one who sends to a minor under Bar Mitzvah - there are those who state that he
does not fulfill his obligation. But a minor may send to a minor.
One
may not send portions to someone who is mourning for his father or mother
within twelve months, but it is permissible to send to his family members who
are not mourners (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 142:2).
Regarding
one who send anonymously - there are those who state that he does not fulfill
his obligation. He should therefore send
another one.
An
agent - even though there are those who are careful to send it only by way of
an agent, one may nevertheless bring it on his own or send it by way of a minor
even though he is not included in the category of those who may be an
"agent".
6.
One who Forgot to Say: "Al Ha-Nissim"
If
he forgot "Al Ha-Nissim" in the Shemonah Esrei or Birkat Ha-Mazon:
1.
If he remembers before he says Hashem’s Name, he should return and recite
"Al Ha-Nissim".
2.
If he already said Hashem’s Name, he should continue.
But:
A. In the Shemonah Esrei, in "Elokai Netzor " before "Yehiyu Le-Ratzon," one should add: "We give thanks to you on the miracles...".
A. In the Shemonah Esrei, in "Elokai Netzor " before "Yehiyu Le-Ratzon," one should add: "We give thanks to you on the miracles...".
B.
In the Birkat Ha-Mazon, before reciting "Ha-Rachaman Hu Yezakeinu", one
should add: "May the Merciful One perform miracles and wonders for us as
He performed for our ancestors in these days at this time in the days
of..." (Rama, Orach Chaim 682:1).
7.
When Adar Arrives, We increase in Joy
And
we continue to rejoice until the end of the month of Nissan, or until the
beginning of the mourning of Sefirat Ha-Omer.
8.
Learning Torah
It
is also proper to make one’s soul rejoice with additional Torah learning on
this day, about which the Sages of Israel were zealous throughout the
generations, as they wrote (Esther 8:16): "The Jews had light" - and
"light" refers to "Torah."