[Be-Ahavah U-Be-Emunah – Vayigash
5774 – Translated by R. Blumberg-
Collated by Rabbi Mordechai Tzion
from the practices of Ha-Rav Shlomo Aviner Shlit"a during his call-in
radio program]
1. Proper
behavior precedes Torah.
Please
don’t call from a place where there is background noise, like the street or
when traveling. It may be convenient for you, but it is an affront to the
listening audience. Surely, "proper behavior precedes Torah" (Vayikra
Rabba 9:3). Therefore, the first thing to deal with as far as questions posed
to Rabbis on the radio is respect for the audience.
Some ask:
How can proper behavior precede Torah? Surely we know that Torah study leads to
proper behavior.
Yet the
process is a gradual one. Good character precedes Torah, and then, through
Torah learning, one achieves still more lofty character traits (Orot Ha-Torah
12:5. See Sichot Ha-Rav Tzvi Yehuda, Shemot, p. 345).
Ha-Gaon Ha-Rav
Pinchas Hirschprung, who served as the Av Beit Din of Montreal, quotes Rashi at
the start of Bereshit, who asks why the Torah began with a history lesson
rather than starting with Shmot 12, where the Jewish People are given their
first Mitzvah as a people, establishing a Jewish calendar.
Rashi
answers that if the nations say the Jewish People are thieves who stole the
Land of Canaan from the nations, the Jews can point to the Book of Bereshit,
which shows that G-d in fact gave the Land to them. Rav Hirschprung comments
that we derive from this that even if a Jew knows the entire Torah, if he is a
thief, his learning is worthless (Gedulat Pinchas, p. 49).
2. Radio
Broadcasts Addressing Women
Question:
Rav Aviner always says, "Hello to our Ma'azinot [female listeners] and Ma'azinim
[male listeners]," putting the females first. Yet didn't Yaakov put the
males of the family before the females as they were approaching their
rendezvous with Esau (see Bereshit 31:17 and Rashi)?
Answer:
Yaakov did so because the males were with him more as far as learning Torah.
The case there has no bearing on proper etiquette. It likewise says, before the
Revelation, "So shall you say to the House of Yaakov [referring to the
women], and speak to the people of Israel [referring to the men]" (Shemot
19:3).
Rashi
comments that we must teach Torah in the following order: first the House of
Yaakov, the women, and only then the people of Israel, the men. See Maharal's
Drush Al Ha-Torah (d.h. Vayehi Bachodesh Hashelishi).
Note as
well, that when a woman asks Rav Aviner a question on the radio, he responds:
"Who is the Ma'azin?", using the word for a male listener, and he
does so for reasons of modesty. See the Talmud, Shabbat 140b, where women
answering the door are advised to ask: “Who is it?” in the feminine form.
3.
Precise, Concise Wording
The caller
should be both precise and concise. He should give all the necessary details,
but nothing more. He is best off writing down the question and reading it
instead of asking it at length.
The caller
has to be precise in his question. Often the Rabbi gets lost from all the
details.
On the
show Dragnet, Sgt. Joe Friday use to say: "Just the facts ma’am."
It’s good
for people to learn how to express themselves concisely.
Rav Aviner
therefore often repeats the question to be sure he’s relating to the right
question, and repeats the context so he can answer with that context in mind.
4. The
Prohibition against Insult
According
to Jewish law, it is forbidden to insult people.
All the
more so it is forbidden to insult a Torah scholar (see Perek Be-Hilchot
Tzibbur, by Maran Ha-Rav Avraham Yitzchak Ha-Cohain Kook, Ma’amarei HaRe’eiya,
p. 55).
And all the
more so it is forbidden to insult the Prime Minister, because some of the laws
of kings apply to him as well (see Responsa Mishpat Cohain #143).
If a
caller insults anyone with his question, Rav Aviner will not talk to him, and,
indeed, will rebuke the caller.
5.
Forbidden Gossip
The
Chafetz Chaim explains in his Laws of Lashon Hara 2:1 that if someone gossips
publicly, his sin is compounded by the number of people who hear it. Therefore,
if someone utters forbidden gossip in his question, his sin is according to the
number of listeners!
6. Interrupting
One’s Fellow Speaker
Some
people ask a question, and when Rav Aviner it, they interrupt him. Pirkei Avot 5:7 teaches, “There are seven
marks of a stupid person, and seven of the wise man… the wise man does not
interrupt the speech of his companion… and the reverse is true of the stupid
person.”
Our Sages
find a source for this in Bamidbar 32. The tribes of Gad and Reuven wanted to
settle in Transjordan. Moshe responded, “Why are you staying there? That’s not
right!” Or, in the Torah’s language: “Are your brothers to go to war while you
stay here?” (v. 6). Moshe meant: We are going to conquer Eretz Yisrael. The
entire Land of Israel shall be conquered by the entire People of Israel, and
you’ve found yourselves a spot to settle? Shall you reenact the sin of the
spies? They answered: No! Heaven forbid!
That’s not what we meant! “We ourselves will cross over as shock troops” (v.
32), and Moshe was satisfied.
The question
is raised: Why didn’t they interrupt him in the middle, saying, “Moshe! Don’t
get upset! We didn’t explain ourselves well!” The answer is that they didn’t
want to interrupt him. They listened quietly, bearing the rebuke all the way
through, waiting patiently. Only then did they make clear their intentions.
They would not interrupt him.
The same
goes for the long polemic in the Book of Iyov. Iyov’s friends never interrupted
one another. Each one waited his turn
and spoke politely and courteously. They spoke harsh words to Iyov, and he
listened patiently.
It is
known that dolphins converse with one another. Dolphin conversations have been
recorded, and these animals have never been heard interrupting one another.
7.
Discussion? Debate?
Rav
Aviner’s radio program is not a forum for discussion or a debate. Rather, it is
what it is billed as: an “Ask the Rabbi” program. In other words, the listener
asks a question and the Rabbi answers it. If you have an urge to engage in a
talk-radio discussion, please call one of the other programs. There are plenty of them. See Ha-Rav Moshe
Feinstein’s introduction to his Shut Igrot Moshe, in which he explains that he
answers all questions as best he can, and does not obligate anybody to accept
the answer.
8.
Spokesman for Other Rabbis?
Please
don’t ask Rav Aviner about the rulings, opinions or utterances of other Rabbis.
They did not appoint him as their spokesman or representative.
Also,
don’t instruct Rabbis what to do. Quite the opposite, you must obey what the
great Rabbis of Israel say, and not order them around.
9. You can
call his home.
For
complex, personal or discrete questions, Rav Aviner can be called at home. His
number can be obtained from 144, Israel’s operator assistance.
10. Listen
to the Rabbi’s Answer
Don’t
guess what the Rabbi will say. Listen to his answer. Many times he answers the
question and people repeat the same exact question, because they did not listen
to the answer.
The reason
we ask Rabbis questions is to receive an answer from him, and not from
ourselves.
Therefore,
please listen.
