Shut SMS #136

Ha-Rav answers hundreds of text message questions a day! Here's a sample:
Praying under the Chuppah
Q: What should I daven for under the Chuppah in order to have a successful marriage?
A: Whatever your heart desires. Tehillim. But not in an overt fashion, since one should be humble. And one should certainly not delay the community. The same applies to the prayer of a bride before the Chuppah – do not delay the community.

Purchasing an Apartment for one’s Children
Q: What is the source for the obligation of parents to buy their married son or daughter an apartment?
A: There is no such obligation. It is a kindness.

The Mitzvah of serving in Tzahal
Q: Do I fulfill a Mitzvah every second I serve in the army?
A: Certainly.

Saving a spot on the Bus
Q: Is it permissible for me to save a seat for my friend on the bus if he didn't get on yet?
A: If there are other open spots for people to sit.

Memorial for First Wife
Q: My family is organizing a meal in memory of my first wife who passed away. Should I bring my current wife?
A: You should not attend at all. You are now married anew and your former wife is no longer part of your world. If you attend, even alone, it will hurt your current wife, even if she denies it.

Tzahal Uniform on Shabbat
Q: On my army base, they allow us to wear a white shirt on Shabbat. Which is preferable – a white shirt or a Tzahal uniform?
A: A white shirt is preferable in honor of Shabbat.

Bed-time Shema
Q: If I take a nap during the day, do I recite the Bed-time Shema?
A: No. It is only recited at night.

Destroying Idol Worship
Q: Is there a Mitzvah today to destroy the places of idol worship in the Land of Israel?
A: Our Sages said: Do not destroy them if you will be required to rebuild them even more beautifully (Midrash Tana’im Devarim 12b, p. 58. Avot De-Rebbe Natan, Nusach Bet #11. See Ha-Tekufah Ha-Gedolah pp. 260-273).

Rebuke
Q: Is it permissible to point out to a friend that his behavior is causing other to mock him, though he may be insulted?
A: You should point it out. It is for his own benefit.

Instruments during Davening
Q: Is it permissible to play instruments during davening, such as during Kabbalat Shabbat and on the night of Yom Ha-Atzmaut?
A: No. We do not play instruments during davening. We should not change the custom of prayer. Instruments were only played in the Temple.