My Wife or My Mother

Question: I have a problem: I am torn between my mother and my wife. There is tension between them and I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My mother is the one who raised me, but my wife is part of me. What should I do?
Answer: This question is not phrased correctly. Your wife is not part of you, rather the both of you are one person, as the Torah says that you are "One flesh" (Bereshit 2:24) and obviously one soul and one spirit. The correct phrasing is therefore: You and your wife have a problem. You are one person, and the both of you are obligated to honor your parents. The husband is obligated from the Torah to honor them, and the wife is obligated by the Rabbis, but it does not matter, you are both obligated and it is not always easy. As you said, your mother raised you, but you are an independent person. This does not mean that you should be ungrateful for all she has done, but you were first a part of your parents and you are now a part of a new being which is made up of you and your wife. "A man therefore leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (ibid.). The correct phrasing is therefore: My wife and I have a problem with my mother. And what is the solution? Knock your heads together. Together. When one phrases the problem correctly, this is already half the solution. Solve the problem together.