Shut SMS #36

Rabbi Aviner answers hundreds of text message questions a week. Some appear in the parashah sheets "Ma'ayanei Ha-Yeshu'ah," "Olam Ha-Katan" and "Be-Ahavah U-Be-Eumnah." Here's a sample:
Q: What should I read to comfort me over the fact that someone dear to me has been stricken with cancer?
A: Tehillim and Chovot Ha-Levavot – Sha'ar Ha-Bitachon (Gate of Trust).
Q: Which way should one open the Parochet (curtain) on the ark? Source?
A: It does not matter – Perishah 128. It is preferable from the left – Derishah 651.
Q: A person offended me greatly and has not asked forgiveness. Am I obligated to forgive him?
A: No.
Q: Does one who cuts someone else's nails, such as for a child, have to wash Netilat Yadayim?
A: No, but the person who has his nails cut is obligated to wash.
Q: Ha-Rav, you were right! Reflexology is nonsense. It is a pity that I did not listen to you. We would have saved a lot of money and anguish.
A: May Hashem bless you.
Q: Is it permissible to kiss a child in shul?
A: No. It is only a place for service of Hashem. Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 90.
Q: Is it permissible to collect donations for a holy purpose if I receive 40% of the money?
A: On condition that you inform the donor.
Q: Is it obligatory to remove the sticker from a glass vessel before immersing it in a mikveh?
A: Yes, unless people usually leave the sticker on for beauty or as a symbol of the quality of the product.
Q: Ha-Rav wrote that it is permissible for a man to wear a wedding ring, and even a good idea as a sign that he is married and to avoid problems. But isn't it a problem of "Lo Yilbash" (the prohibition of men dressing like women) and "Chukot Ha-Goyim" (following non-Jewish customs)?
A: If it is a ring for men – there is no prohibition of "Lo Yilbash." And there is no issue of "Chukot Ha-Goyim." The Mishnah in Shabbat mentions a ring for a man, and Ha-Rav Nissim Karelitz permits it in his book "Peat Zekanecha" #102.
Q: If a Sefardi connects more to Ashekenzaic davening, can he change his tradition of davening?
A: A person should not change from the custom of his ancestors.
Q: In the Beit Midrash where I learn, they erased Rav Kook's name from all of the books printed by Mossad Ha-Rav Kook (a publishing house). Should I continue to learn there?
A: If there is a better Beit Midrash – move to there.
Q: What is the source for the idea that there are 36 righteous individuals in each generation?
A: It is a late tradition.
Q: What should be our relation to Chabad – acceptance or rejection?
A: The Torah of Chabad is part of the Torah but not all of the Torah.
Q: When I wear modest clothing I feel like it does not come from me. It is not me. What should I do?
A: Service of Hashem is more important than human feelings. And do not worry. This is indeed you in the depth of your soul. Have patience, the feeling will come.
Q: In order to find a lost object, it is a segulah (spiritual remedy) to say: "The G-d of Rabbi Meir, answer me" or "Rabbi Binyamin said: All are considered blind until The Holy One Blessed Be He lights up their eyes."
A: It is not correct.
Q: Can a Sefardi wear his Tzitzit out?
A: It is a dispute between Sefardic authorities, it is therefore possible to act either way.