A Critical Wife

You cannot build a close connection, which is the foundational of marriage, in this manner. If you have a strong inclination to criticize and blame without seeing the outcome of what this does, it prevents him from speaking freely and opening up. He shuts down and contemplates every word as if being interviewed by a reporter or police investigator. It is true that a husband and a wife should be able to mutually and freely correct one another's behavior, but you are overly critical, your style is unpleasant and when you begin it opens the floodgates. Don't you notice that your husband prepares for the onslaught, closes the blinds and does not listen in order to save his soul. As a result, for an extended period, go to the opposite extreme: refrain completely from criticizing, even when it is justified, in order to gain his trust. This takes a long time and will be difficult for you, but you will both feel the benefit and build your friendship for your benefit and your children's benefit, even if it begins as artificial. An interesting challenge.