A Domineering Husband

Question: Even before we were married, I noticed that my husband had a domineering personality: instructions regarding the style of my dress, limits on relations with my friends, directives regarding my studies, demanding that I be available, constantly blaming me for a lack of respect and love. But he was so smart and amazing that I became captivated by his love. We have been married ten years and the situation in getting worse: verbal abuse and occasionally physical abuse. Every time I decide to leave, he quickly asks my forgiveness and the greater the offense the greater the appeasement: gifts, entertainment and hugs. Furthermore, I blame myself to some extent for the situation since if I was okay, none of this would be happening. I therefore search for ways to please him, but to no avail.
Answer: You are in good company. Close to one in four women suffer from some form of violence. This phenomenon crosses all nations, all cultures and all strands of society. Many atheists also fulfill the verse: "And he will lord over you" (Bereshit 3:16) – but it is obviously not a mitzvah rather a curse. Therefore, please go to a counselor to help you in leaving this distressing situation. Do not fool yourself that the problem will be solved with patience. And if you are willing to suffer for the children, you are mistaken: it is to their detriment to see their father causing pain to their mother. It rips them apart. Please go to a counselor. And one more thing: do not ask me if I know you or a woman exactly like you in this country. To our distress, there are hundreds of thousands and the question was just a model.