Relating to Homosexuals

[Iturei Yerushalayim #28]

Question: I serve as a Rabbi outside of Israel and a distressed man came to me. His brother, who lives in our community, is "marrying" a man and he asked me how we should relate to the new couple. On the one hand, it seems that the personal and communal response should be unequivocal: this act is absolutely outside of all boundaries. On the other hand, if we leave the door open, perhaps he will return at a later period. What is Ha-Rav's advice?
Answer: We must differentiate between the communal relationship and the familial one. The Rabbi and the community must oppose this severe act against the Torah with all forcefulness in order to prevent its spread. After all, this is an abomination. Maran Ha-Rav Kook writes (Ain Ayah, Shabbat vol. 1, p. 148) on the story of the man who went to Hillel and Shammai: if we are discussing a spiritual malady which is already rooted among the Nation, it is impossible to fix it by force, rather it must be accomplished gradually and with patience. But if we are discussing a new malady which is bursting forth into our camp, we must stop it immediately and with all forcefulness, and admonish in a clear fashion. But family and friends must certainly remain close even with someone who strays from the proper path. After all, even for someone who commits a severe crime and goes to prison, family remains family and friends remain friends. We tell him: we are not giving you legitimacy, we are completely opposed to what you are doing and you know it, but we will always love you and our door is always open for you.

Question: Can the questioner allow his brother's partner to visit his house or should he ask his brother to come alone even though the brother may be insulted and not come at all?
Answer: They should discuss it together with him, so that it is done with love. They should explain that they simply ask of him to consider their feelings and not to bring his partner. They should clarify that just as they love him and consider his feelings; he should love them and should certainly be willing to consider their feelings. But if he says: "I am connected to him like a Siamese twin," we love him despite what we consider offensive, but we cannot provide him with any legitimacy.